Everyone has an inner critic; the small or sometimes loud voice that either tares us down or picks us up. How you talk to yourself will either encourage or discourage you. My inner voice uses to tear me apart; telling me I would never be successful or that I would always struggle. One of the ways I learned to love myself was by talking to myself out of love, like I would a good friend. Negative self-talk has catastrophic effects research has shown how it leads to low levels of self-esteem and high levels of stress. Whereas, positive self-talk leads to a greater sense of self-efficacy which will help you reach your goals. When you criticize yourself constantly you will only focus on the failures and not the changes one needs to make. Positive self-talk is a form of self-compassion and self-understanding; it is a way of loving yourself and being empathetic with yourself. Nothing changed in my life until I started talking to myself out of love; until I accepted myself for who I was. The amazing thing is I gained an awareness of my own strengths rather than focusing on my own failures. There was so much pain in my past; so many regrets and too many failed attempts to get it right. If I would have stayed in that mindset I would have gotten nowhere. I would have never finished college because I thought I was not smart enough to; I would have never found my purpose. When you are constantly attacking yourself over every small mistake your turning a small mistake into a huge failure. Your taring yourself down, lowering your self-esteem thus, effecting how you view yourself and ultimately creating a life you don’t want to live. I understand because I use to be like that; I was my own worst enemy. It wasn’t easy to change my inner critic into a trusted friend. It took baby steps such as when I thought of all the ways I was a bad mom I would then force myself to see the ways I was actually an amazing mother. When I told myself, I would never finish school I pushed myself harder and challenged those thoughts with thoughts of getting my PhD. Eventually I learned to love myself and accept my past failures and embrace my new successes. One day I realized how different I was, I was no longer viewing myself the same and others noticed too. I no longer complained or catastrophized every problem I had I instead looked for solutions or accepted the situation for what it was. One way to improve your inner critic is to monitor your thoughts; think about what you’re thinking. Stay aware of your thoughts if they are always negative your perspective will always be negative thus, creating a bunch of negative experiences. The benefits of positive self-talk and positive thinking are astronomical. Research has shown how it has benefits to your physical health and your quality of life. I know for me personally when I starting speaking to myself with understanding instead of judgment I rebuilt my entire life. I finished my goals, I started new hobbies, I found myself. I hope you find yourself too.