Today the grey cloud hovers over me. I am sad without reason. How can someone with so much be sad. I feel empty. Thoughts of church came into my mind again for the thousands time. Months of hearing the same thought, find a church get into a routine…find a church get into a routine. I know.. I know I say to myself. We all know what to do it’s executing the plan that’s the hard part. I can blame it on the unruly children or the hours of missed sleep.. or my husband the un-motivator. But in the end it’s me. I need to lead my family in the right direction that is my duty as a mother. I need God his presence his light. I need to feel him today. I need him to take away my thoughts full of fears and sorrow and meaninglessness. I need his Grace. It’s not the job the home life or the lack of balance between the two it is just me. The person who hates commitments the person who is one day full light and great ideas and laughter and the next as sluggish as eyore. I want to be free from my bipolar mood swings I am beyond sick of them. Sick of feeling like i do is this moment, like no one can understand. God help me get through the grey day you know i cannot travel through this black tunnel alone1399407928946491.jpg

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