Strength in bipolar disorder is often non existing to the one who doesn’t realize how hard there fighting.  The thoughts that drag you into each episode, the voice you despise the voice you dread the voice that is your own.  The physical feelings linked to your next occurring episode that you preserve through the day with, their as a constant reminder of your illness of the heart braking conclusion that you are in fact mentally ill. You often seek confirmation for both reasons, a relief that there’s a reason and the reminder that you will always be sick. That this is permanent. That’s the chatter in my sleepy unfocused all over the place mind today.  One thing I know for fact my bipolar mind can tell me whatever it wants today I am brave. I am brave enough to fight my own thoughts. I am brave enough to fight my physical feelings and I’m brave enough to be a person faced with the hardest road in life the battle of self. Bipolar disorder doesn’t define me however it is and will always be a part of me and acceptance in that will be the only thing that brings me peace. I may stumble through the next few days or weeks challenging myself daily to not listen to the depressing voice trying to convince me of the self infliction in all areas of life.  But I am fucking Brave and I will get through this and I will thrive and God willing I will be a little stronger because of this in preparation for the next battle. I got this I am brave

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